I'll start this write up to the Jungle Moniey #85 (the Lunatic Monkey) with apologies to Ken Kesey, Author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (OFOTCN) for plagiarising his words (quotes in inverted commas). In an effort to disturb the half-mind Hashers, timings were changed to meet 11am 27 July 2019, however all but one signups arrived (one virgin signup failed to appear, citing beer 'flu). The 26 Chimps and 1 Virgin lined up for the promised special outing, some wearing non-matching socks as they attempted to dress themelves as humans. Along the highway we sped, through toll gates and one official questioned, 'Are you lost?' "No, my friend. We are lunatics from the hospital up the highway, psycho-ceramics, the cracked pots of mankind. Would you like me to decipher a Rorschach for you?" The three certified Hares, Dr.Dirt Looney, Dr.Jellobutt and Dr.Pussy Snatcher had promised a 'special' day out and I mused about a school excursion of excited children hyped up on red lollies, thirsting for beer later. "What a Life: Give some of us pills to stop a fit, give the rest shock to start one." The Hares overestimated the half-minds as a banner was produced showing a building and later the question of its identity asked, but most Chimps were unknowing, even vacuous. The Hare brief was held and I found myself pondering my navel and doubting I was there. I was sure they said we were running on paper and most guys were keen to get going on trail. "What makes people so impatient is what I can't figure; all the guy had to do was wait." There were the expected blue back checks, red circle checks and we were treated to blue arrows, wet feet, cows, barking dogs and an abundance of elephant crap on slippery slopes. "Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing." The first section was said to be a short walkers trail (about 2km) or a longer runners trail (about 8km), with the second section being similarly split (about 4km / 7km). It was a fairly hot day and some guys suffered from the heat / sunburn, but it was a good day out for Chimps that wanted to have fun, in keeping with the Jungle Monkey credo of 'Can Do, Will Do, Try To Do'. "But I tried, though," he says. "Goddammit, I sure as hell did that much, now, didn’t I?" There was a lost soul near trail end and help was dispatched to retrieve Ice Hole, who enlightened us in the circle with tales of fake orgasms, including reasons why this should be done. "It's the truth even if it didn't happen." Ice Hole left the circle with a trophy that was sure to make his best friend happy. Bam Bam welcomed the lone virgin (Purple Fart) to the barrel of Chimps in the customary manner with humour and laughter, well, at least for the spectators. Purple Fart accepted the ceremony with a smile on his dial, obviously trying to deny Bam Bam pleasure. "He knows that there's no better way in the world to aggravate somebody who's trying to make it hard for you than by acting like you're not bothered." Beetroot Head had his priorities right, leading (Acting GM) The Wizard to announce 'Why would you want to be there for the birth, you weren't there for the conception?' "He's the sort of guy that gets a laugh out of people." Mayo Queen survived the day, despite feeling unwell at the start. After a good effort on trail, he spent the circle laying down in a baht bus. "They can't tell so much about you if you got your eyes closed." Phoney Cunt surprised many Chimps by attending, having been absent studying (and chasing schoolies no doubt). "I been away a long time." Overheard around the circle; Dr. Dirt Looney "I don't seem able to get it straight in my mind...." Dr.Jellobutt "To hell with that. A man goin' fishing with two whores from Portland don't have to take that crap." Dr.Pussy Snatcher "She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either". There was good quality food, organised and served up to us by the Doctors who, in an effort to set high hygiene levels dressed themselves in Lab coats. Dr.Jellobutt even wore a prophylactic as he handed out the pasta, bolognaise, Greek Salad, cheese and bread. Apparently there were potato crisps, but someone inhaled them all, before the runners came in. The building on the banner was the Oregon State Hospital, Salem, Oregon, which was the setting of the tragic comedy movie OFOTCN. Did the Chimps realise the mental ability of the Hshers? Possibly not. "The secret of being a top-notch con man is being able to know what the mark wants, and how to make him think he's getting it." In a nice touch, the On On On was at Natalie's Bar where the hostesses were dressed as Nurses. On a sad note, we weren't allowed to touch. Overall a great day out with like minded guys. Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!