"Hey dad, I got a little bit of a problem at the airport."
"I can't hear ya kiddo. I'm on Monkey trail laying paper with Ballringer now, speak up."
"Said, I got a problem at the airport....ummm, hummm, I missed my flight."
"WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!"
"Yea, I misread the ticket, I thought it said 1:00pm for my flight, but actually it reads 10:00am."
"Hold on kiddo, Ballringer just lost his f**kin' glasses in the bush, he's on all fours now looking around."
"Well, so, I got another ticket but the flight doesn't leave until next week, so need to come back to Pattaya."
"Wait a sec, kiddo....BALLRINGER, take that stapler out of your mouth,....ok, whats that? You coming back to Pattaya?"
"No problem dad, I already got a ride back to Pattaya, met a girl who has a car and she'll give me a lift."
"Wait one minute...BALLRINGER, what the f**k you doing...don't staple the GPS....what what...ok, you got a lift back?"
"Yea, a girl I met at the airport works in a bar in Pattaya and she's on her way there now...so I'll see ya tonight."
"What bar she work at?"
"Don't know...but she says she's a mama san..a total MILF."
"Really, how old is she?"
"Not sure but she's gotta be in the 50's bracket."
"Damn, thats hot...ask her if she's got a mom......I mean one that's still living.... BALLRINGER stop papering that rock."
"Ok dad, you on Monkey trail now with Ballringer?"
"Wait wait wait kiddo...hold on...BALLRINGER, NO NO NO Stop, papering the farmers, they're people for god sake."
"Yea, so if you're coming back to Pattaya today you can run the Monkey trail tomorrow."
"Oh dad, do I have to?....I don't want to hang out with old farts...I hear they make you wear nappy's in the circle."
"Nappies? Holly shit...No way kiddo, never, not the Monkey hash, No nappies here."
"OK, well, I don't want to wear any stupid nappies."
"No problem kiddo, no nappies, promise."
"OK, oh yea, I got another problem."
"What other problem....BALLRINGER...STOP papering the f**kin' ants..ok, leave the insects alone."
"Hummm. I don't have any more money....I need to borrow some ok?"
"No more money? You had a couple thousand baht when you went to the airport this morning."
"Yea I know but I did a short time with this mama san MILF in the toilet so, now I'm broke."
"BALLRINGER,....if you staple that f**kin' water buffalo I'm not taking you to the hospital."
"So, dad, I need some baht when I get back ok?"
"Well, only if you promise to do the Monkey run tomorrow."
"Ok I promise...but you promise me I don't have to wear a f**kin' nappy?"
"Sure kiddo, promise"
On On
Motormouth
