I have been handed the task of supplying the Run Report for yesterday's run, seeing as I am one of the Hares on the next Monkey.
Unfortunately, this report may not measure up too well against previous Run Reports, as I spent the majority of the run either by myself or in the company of two others. And that only lasted about 15mins till Spaghetti Head disappeared, never to be seen again.
But here is my attempt.
I arrived at the A site, ably driven there by our illustrious GM, Lord Lucan, to find 2 of the Hares,
Bam Bam and Cabbage Knievel, (OK a grammar lesson needs to be inserted here. "I" before "E" except after "C") Knievel not Kneivel OK….., patiently awaiting the arrival of the bus. Whilst waiting, Bam Bam pulled me to one side, feverishly looking over his shoulder to ensure we weren't being observed, and proceeded to explain the "mud" map he had provided in case my body couldn't last the journey and I needed to short cut.
Well, he explained about back checks, true trail, checks, quarries, lakes and even a boat was mentioned and I just kept nodding my approval, even though I knew when push came to shove, I wouldn't be able to remember anything he had said.
The bus arrived, spewing out its contents at an alarming rate. After everyone was sufficiently hydrated, the GM called for the group photo. Pig Pusher Swine Stabber endeavoured to get his moped on the bus, and the Hares gave their instructions. It would be remiss of me here, if I didn't mention Jackal's commitment to the Monkey by not only wearing odd coloured socks but odd coloured runners as well.
ON OUT was the call, and off into the depths of Siam's jungle we moved. I grabbed the other 2 geriatrics, E.T. and Spaghetti Head, who were also planning on walking the trail, and off we went, already 100 metres behind the pack. It was about 5 minutes later I explained that I had a mud map if we wanted to short cut, but the consensus was that we should try and do the trail if possible.
We were soon heading towards the lake and into our fist taste of shiggy, the pack ahead of us was in earshot but we couldn't see them. We then entered a coconut plantation, where we could see the pack way off in the distance heading to our left, but a moment later, they had turned around and were heading back, obviously another of the Hare's back checks. We took a ninety degree turn right and headed towards the same road they were on, but probably a few hundred metres ahead of them.
This road took us between a quarry and a lake, with the pack slowly but surely overtaking us FRB's.
The pack once again disappeared out of sight, following the trail around to the right. On reaching this sweeping turn, I looked to my left and spotted what looked like Monkey paper about 50 metres up a track. Try a Fuck was dispatched to check it out and sure enough it was true trail. The pack was on another check back.
The 3 Amigos and the wannabe,TAF were 1st to the next check, where TAF checked ahead while Spaghetti Head did the limbo under the boom gate to our right and proceeded to check it out.
That was the last time I was to see Spag until I reached the C site, much later in the day.
In the meantime the pack started to arrive, marveling at the speed in which the 3 geriatrics were able to display, in getting to the check 1st. None of it was our doing however, but the great back checks the Hares had laid.
TAF called ON ON and the pack was off once more, while we waited for Spag to re-appear but it was not to be. So after we waited for sometime, E.T. and I headed off on trail but we never did see the pack again until we arrived at the drink stop.
We had just arrived at the B site, when the FRBs were ready to head off on the B to C section, having got in about 15 minutes before us, I was reliably informed.
E.T. was keen to join them, so he got a water and he was gone too, leaving me to re-hydrate and do the last section on my own. Bam Bam then told me about a short cut that would save me about 1.1klm and I was only too pleased to accept. I finished my Pepsi and taking a water with me, I was off chasing the pack.
But, obviously being as fatigued as I was, I wasn't thinking straight and totally fucked up his directions and finished up probably not saving any distance on the run at all. I finally came back onto paper at the top of a hill just as Dirty Pussy and Smiling Brown Spider emerged on my left. We then turned right off the road and followed the trail through pineapple and cassava fields, that were planted along the boundaries with H'way 331.
All the time the trail was veering to our right so it became quite clear we were heading to the lake for our final destination. And seeing the markings in the dirt "Spag was here" only added to those thoughts. The C site was reached and much imbibing was endured.
Hope to see you all again for Monkey #34 on Sat. 19th November. (Spag and GI Joe are taking sign ups)
On On
Dizzy
