My Friday just got shit on. I was working away, minding my own business, staying out of trouble when I decided to check my phone. 3 SMSs? I never get SMSs. Must be those damn promotion announcements from whatever mobile company I use.
I opened my mailbox and found confirmations from JELLOBUTT and PUSSY SNATCHER --6:30 tonight at Nikom. Great. What's this third one? I hit 'open' and read LORD LUCAN's message "Are you the Monkey scribe?" Ah shit. That would be a yes. Sorry I parked that little gem of information into some forgotten corner of my head and let you all down.
Here's the scribe report for The AGPU "Lazy Monkey" run #42……….It's only 12 days late. No one tell that self-proclaimed "nice" man CABBAGE KINEVEL about my little brain fart. Last time this happened, he opened the circle by putting the offender into the bucket and denied him a down-down beer. I hope that doesn't set precedence. Even a sinful slacker deserves a beer to go with his frozen ass, especially when I have a perfect excuse……… I was just keeping with theme and being 'lazy'!
Did somebody say AGPU? That would mean that our formidable Grand Master, the great (in his own mind) SPAGHETTI HEAD is about to become our former Grand Master. Ok, he's done a good job. Who's next?? Oh, a HORSE of course. That should work out all right. HORSE is a good enough guy about half the time (when he's asleep)! What's that you say? HORSE is too scared to take over the reins (OK, bad pun). I thought it was dogs that slinked away with their tails between their legs. Aren't horses supposed to proud, majestic animals? SPEGHETTI HEAD might have had some influence in HORSE's decision. He couldn't keep the grin off his face when he informed us that he would 'reluctantly', but fearlessly, continue to lead us clueless monkeys. Ummmmmmmm, thanks SPAG (I guess).
Even though the hares, SPAG and HORSE, fought like a couple of old ladies that haven't been laid in a decade, they managed to put together a hell of a run. They might have over-reacted a little bit to run #41's 2½ hour, no water stop first leg (A to B). We were treated to a grueling, torturing, de-hydrating, 30 minute first leg before we came into a clearing and saw BAM-BAM's water truck. I hadn't even run off my hangover yet. VASELINE THIGHS cursed that he could have got more exercise weeding his garden! BUT……. our hare dynamic duo made up for the wimpy beginning and took us on a 14-15K tour of southern Chonburi. Good Monkey distance and even VT was happy.
We finished on SPAG's immaculately maintained lawn, snacked on sandwiches and guzzled liquid refreshments. Later, we were served a first rate meal of "bangers" (I'm not sure what that means, but the Aussie's kept throwing the word around) and side dishes.
CABBAGE KENIEVEL led a great circle while SPAG attend to hare duties. I wish I could remember it! All I remember is that JELLOBUTT couldn't seem to keep his ass off the ice and the Frenchies couldn't seem to shut the F*&% up. There's definitely some same-same in that statement.
ON-ON
I'm a Fucking Cupcake
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