At approximately 10:15 am I was sitting at the Boxing Roo bar along with 35 other Monkey hashers waiting for the bus, sipping my rum and coffee, when I overheard a very bizarre conversation by these two hashers:
Ballringer: I don't feel good about this at all.
Jellobutt: Whats up now Wendy?
Ballringer: "Well, today is my 36th Monkey run.... and well, crackin'...I just don't feel good about whats going to happen."
Jellobutt: "Not following you, come again?"
Ballringer: "The tradition on the 36th run is I'll be awarded a cap...and you know...well, I just don't do caps."
Jellobutt: "Yea, I know you got this thing about not liking to wear a cap...whats up with that anyway?"
Ballringer: "If I tell ya Jellobutt ya got to promise to keep it to yourself, its a bit embarrassing really."
Jellobutt: "Promise, I won't tell a soul."
Ballringer: "Well, uumm...how can I put it...ok...see...when I was 10 years old my mum caught me wanking in my bedroom."
Jellobutt: "Ok, perfectly normal, it happens....so what?
Ballringer: "Well, crackin' ...ya see I was wanking wearing a baseball cap at the time...very embarrassing."
Jellobutt: "O...K...ah, why were you wearing a baseball cap while you were going after yourself, kinda weird,,,?"
Ballringer: "Yea, I know.... well, I was very young at the time, and uuuuhh, I kinda liked baseball..."
Jellobutt: "Baseball?"
Ballringer: "Well, not exactly baseball...more like...hummm, baseball players."
Jellobutt: "Baseball players?"
Ballringer: "So, like I said, I was very young at the time...still kinda...how can I say it...ummm...searching."
Jellobutt: "Searching?"
Ballringer: "Yea, you know...kinda like sitting at a check waiting to be told which direction to go."
Jellobutt: "Direction?"
Ballringer: "Yea, you know, remember, my mum called me Wendy at the time, and I was still a bit ummmm,... uncertain."
Jellobutt: "Uncertain?"
Ballringer: "Well, I was confused."
Jellobutt: "Confused?"
Ballringer: "I dunno...maybe it had to with the pink panties mum made me wear."
Jellobutt: "Pink panties?"
Ballringer: "You know Jellobutt, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell ya all this...its a bit dark really, but I know I'm gonna get that damn cap today and the GM is gonna make me wear it...but the cap is sorta a fetish thing for me."
Jellobutt: "Fetish?"
"Oh, good the bus is here now, you can finish telling me your story on the bus."
"Well, see here's the problem, when I put on a baseball cap, I sorta get the urge."
Jellobutt: "Urge?"
Ballringer: "Yea, you know...spank the monkey...baseball cap fetish thing."
Jellobutt: "Ballringer, I think you're right, better not to have told me this story. Makes me kinda queasy."
Ballringer: "Well, you see my predicament now...I'll be in the circle, wearing the cap, and then...I just don't know what will happen.
You see, I only keep my caps in my room, along with my porno, even Bellend doesn't know.
I never go outside in a baseball cap, just too dangerous"
Jellobutt: "Enough already Ballringer."
Ballringer: "It sure is nice to have the old hash bus back in service, kinda missed the old scrap bucket."
Jellobutt: "Yup, very reliable."
Ballringer: "But Jellobutt, I still don't feel good about this..."
Jellobutt: "No worries mate, kick back and just enjoy the bus ride."
On On
The Ghost Rider
