First of all my apologies for the delay in the run report but I'm the only cunt with a full time job in another country that's 7,500km away and 9 hours flying time and like most men when I'm here I'm either on the piss, on the nest or asleep getting ready to get on the piss or on the nest.
Got to bus stop about 10:45 and waited for the 11:00 bus but it was late so most of us relaxed and waited while "Squeeze My Tube" the transport mistress made a few phone calls to find out where the fuck the bus was. A couple of hashers ran across to the avenue to find a dunny to do a bit of last minute weight reduction.
Sheik Me Me was the first to go looking for the toilet but obviously he didn't find one because when we got on the bus he was still full of shit.
"A" site was at an ostrich farm which is the national bird of Thailand, circle called, "Sheik Me Me" welcomed all participants & monkey virgins.
Hares in to tell us about the run , checks & f.t's blue and yellow, back checks blue, 2 water stops today & if you don't complete at least 2 sections of the run then you won't get a park ranger safari shirt.
Run starts along a dirt road, down a ditch, up a hill, along another dirt road stampeding horses and a few scraggy looking sheep that "rectum" said weren't very attractive but anyway no time to think about casual sex there's a long way to go.
"A" to "B" took me over 2 hours and was well papered and had plenty of shade so the first section was a 10 out of 10, no mud, no ball deep water, no mountains to climb and no mountains to fall down.
I must have been a long way behind the frb's because the "B" to "C" run started 1 minute after I got to the water stop, only had time for a quick piss & a drink and the run starts again up another dirt road. This section had less shade than the first part but was still pretty good although it did have some water, mud & thorns and came back to the same site we left from, tricky cunt's.
The "C" to "D" run was the best section, 9km of uphill running and I loved it because I didn't run it. Unfortunately "thank Allah, thank Buddha, thank god, thank fuck the soles of my shoes fell off after a bit of help and i had to stay with a few other unlucky hashers and go on the bus to the "A" site and got a seat near the beer cooler.
Small "A site" just across the dam from the Aussie run site plenty of flies and bugs, the unlucky few who couldn't do part 3 volunteered to do the beer testing to ensure all beer was at the correct temperature for the luck cunts who got to run the last 9km. Runners came in as it was getting dark, "pussy snatcher" first in by a country mile then the rest staggered in all soaked in sweat.
G.I. Joe still had enough energy to break the lid off the beer esky.
Food by V.V. in 2 sittings spag bol first then circle action, many down down's to our departed colleague "Madame Claude". Jellobutt first in for food , the only first he got today, has seconds & thirds before everyone has eaten & whinges about no chang classic. "Sheik Me Me ices "Fucking Dog" a lot because he gets off the ice before being told to. "Fucking Dog" also denies any involvement in setting run "I did nothing" he say's, also iced stinky sloppy seconds gets iced a lot until he gets the shit's with "me me".
Second round of food - chicken soup.
No bucket today because of "Bam Bam's" Alzheimer's. Bit of a blessing really, saved a few hashers' testicles from shrinkage. Many more drinks to remember "Madame Claude".
French iced, hares iced, everyone iced. Back on the bus, drink more beer, drive to town, drink more beer.
Not easy being an athlete.
Another good day out.
On On
Rear Gunner
